With the anniversary of my birth happening over the weekend, I began to ponder mortality. I do this every year that day comes around. My aunt is 88, my paternal grandfather lived to 100.5, and one of my cousins passed away about a year ago at the age of 63. There are several medical conditions that I have begun to experience that are very common in the family tree, so naturally I began to think about how much time I have left on this earth to enjoy. I also think about what happens afterwards for my family, and what I can do to make it easier.

When I was a theist I had an unhealthy relationship with the idea of death, heaven, hell, and all the dogma that went with it. Once I embraced humanism and atheism the fear of death disappeared. I am content when the time comes to naturally embrace that cadence. The process of dying has ceased to bother me. It has also helped me embrace every moment that I am alive. I no longer take moments for granted. I choose to live purposely, creating, working, making relationships, and surrounding myself with like-minded people.

The prevailing culture in the United States is one of preserving one’s life as long as possible through medicine, snake oil, fervent prayer, and other desperate procedures. I feel this culture prevails due to the amount of work we American citizens perform per week. Our relaxation time becomes more urgent, and much of that time is spent pursuing unhealthy habits instead of reading, writing, creating, relaxing, walking the dog, or simply exploring our neighborhoods and the people we live alongside. When we combine this with the stagnation of education it is no wonder people hold onto the myths of spirituality and religion. Familiarity is easier than curiosity and wonder.

Years ago I read a book about the culture of dying throughout the world. I was transitioning from theism to atheism when I read this book, and I found cultures that had a very healthy outlook on the conclusion of life. Some indigenous people see death as the transition of energy back to Mother Earth. Other cultures see our earthly remains going back to the stardust we came from. Whatever the culture, death is the natural conclusion of one’s life.

Since my nation is a capitalist one and the value of one’s life or death is seen as a transaction, I have prepared for the financial hardship my family may face. I have a healthy life insurance policy. It will cover my death expenses and the mortgage of our house. As for a funeral and visitation, I have requested that there be none. I find this spectacle to be particularly unnerving for the survivors. The awkwardness of trying to visit or catch up when everyone has chosen different paths and invested so little into maintaining the relationship over time, why would I put my family through that hell? That will also save the family money.

As for the remains of my body, I would like it to undergo promession (cryomation.) This is where the body is frozen, dipped in liquid nitrogen, shattered by acoustic waves, sublimated in a vacuum to remove the water, and have the promains placed in a biodegradable receptacle that can be processed into the soil preferably under a tree. This type of process is expensive and only available in Sweden as far as I know. The likelihood of this occurring is slim. More than likely cremation or even donating my body to science is more likely than promession. The idea of embalming me, putting me into some nice clothes and putting me into a box doesn’t appeal to me. It isn’t environmentally sound, and it is expensive.

I did read about the mycelium burial pod that one can be buried in. This process is much more environmentally sound, and the body decomposes within 2-3 years becoming compost in a living forest burial ground. There are a couple of living forests in New Hampshire and Maine. This could be an option if there is one in the Midwest. It is less expensive than a traditional funeral, but then again it isn’t cheap either. I’m fine with cremation as a last resort. As for the ashes, I am content with being tossed into the ocean, river, baseball field, wherever… Send me back to Earth as cheaply as possible.

Monuments or stone markers are not necessary. Why spend thousands on a stone where no grave exists. A simple sign next to a tree, “In memory of…” is better. I find the idea of a stone marker more about vanity than anything. If the family wants to place a memorial somewhere, that is fine. That will be for them, not for me. I came into this world with little fanfare, I prefer to go out the same way.

I don’t believe in an afterlife, so once I pass the energy from my body will return to the Earth or the Cosmos. I will cease to exist, and my atoms will transition to other forms of matter and energy. I find this idea comforting. The struggles of life, any pain or suffering I may feel, and the discordant chaos of mankind will all fall silent. My brain’s subconscious will dream until the oxygen levels deplete and the brain dies… It will be like drifting into a deep forever sleep. Imagine…. John Lennon…

Yes, I have given the end a lot of thought. I want to be a minimum of an inconvenience for everyone. If my survivors and friends want to have a party or a meal in my honor, so be it. It should not be in a church or a funeral home. Preferably, I would like everyone to be at a nice park enjoying the world around them, grilling hot dogs (no ketchup,) cheeseburgers, or whatever meat they choose. Make it a geocaching event all I care. Go to a baseball game. Attend a concert of live music. I just don’t want the sadness and moroseness of a funeral. We see too much tragedy in this world, embrace the positive… the energy… enjoy one another in that moment… celebrate each other…

If you are worried, that I have hit a depressive streak and am a danger to myself, please don’t. I’m fine. Every time I go down this path, I embrace life with more fervor than I have before. I think it is healthy to ponder such things. It helps me focus on the important people and events around me. How can we do better, take care of more, and serve others? …or as Kurt Vonnegut wrote… “…we are here to fart around…” I may just do that…

…so it goes…