Dear $47 and your supporters,

I wish to thank you for all the recent gifts you have given the American people and the world at large. It’s a long list, and I intend to hold you all accountable for your choices with this fantastic list. Today is volume one. I am being sardonic, sarcastic, and just plain rude. Why? Nothing makes a bully madder than hell as when you stand up to them.

1. Thanks for ending the weaponization of the federal government (by weaponizing it.) I remember this being covered by George Orwell in 1984, but I doubt you have read it.
2. Thanks for rescinding all past executive orders by President Biden as being radical. Yes, by all intents and purposes your terrorism on the American people is a normal byproduct of a free society.
3. Thanks for restoring freedom of speech and ending censorship. I plan on using EO14149 in my defense against your censorship and what you’re currently doing to the free press by pushing out NBC and other independent news outlets that cover your crimes and replacing them with news entertainment outlets like Fox. Violation of the 1st amendment. Let the impeachment begin.
4. Thank you for the America First Policy. Yes, isolationism and selfishness will really play well in foreign policy and trade. When you use binary thinking in governance you fail. Period! The world doesn’t operate like you think it operates. Oh, it will kick your ass eventually.
5. Thank you for ending radical and wasteful government DEI programs and preferencing. You made up a new word preferencing, you saved absolutely zero dollars as a hiring policy doesn’t cost anything additional to implement. Wow, zero dollars saved? Y’all are genius level knuckleheads here.
6. Thanks for holding government officials accountable for election interference. Impeachable offense #2 as we have all that documentation on you creating election interference in 2020. Let’s not forget about your insurrection either. Your choice, I’m just holding you accountable. All of you.
7. Thanks for unleashing Alaska’s resource potential. I’m sure the three electoral votes and 733,000 or so people have been feeling under appreciated for their natural wonders and resources. I bet the Native Americans there would like y’all to get lost.
8. Thanks for unleashing American energy. Does this include wind farms, solar farms, redistribution of infrastructure monies to replace the oil reserves we won’t get from democratic countries you alienate? Like Ukraine, Canada, Mexico, China, the whole free world?
9. Thanks for withdrawing us from the WHO. I’m sure your Christian National Prayer network will save the American people from the next pandemic, along with their tithes and allegiances from the $47 bible. You really blinded me with science on this masterpiece of stupidity.
10. Thanks for declaring an energy emergency. The amount of electricity that is used on your ignorance has caused this energy emergency. I fully expect to see Canada to stop selling electricity to the Northeast very soon. How would NYC, Boston, Baltimore, and the District like 120 degree heat indexes without power to the air conditioners? Did you think of that? No, you didn’t… Jesus cools….
11. Thanks for declaring cartels as terrorist organizations. Does this include the insurance cartels here in the USA? I don’t think you understand that you can’t attack these cartels in another country without their consent… Let me know how that American first thing works out for you in Mexico.
12. Thanks for adding the government efficiency department. So far the inefficiency has led to illegal firings, a plane crash, freezing of assets already authorized by congress, and a whole shit show of back pedaling. Never put a billionaire in charge of something requiring efficiency. He doesn’t know how to budget anything… safely… cause he won’t read…
13. Thanks for protecting the American people from invasion. Could you please move to Borneo now. You and your hapless cronies are the invasion, as are your hapless supporters fooled by your hoax. The immigrants on my street are 100 times better people than… well all of you.
14. Thanks for protecting the meaning of American citizenship. Sorry, I don’t think 60% of your cult could pass the citizenship test. I taught actual immigrants the civics class for citizenship. Most of you think the 4th of July is the name of the holiday… You’re a legal citizen based on birthright, but let’s throw out the 14th amendment. Impeachable offense #3.
15. Thanks for protecting the American people from foreign threats and terrorism. Umm, do you love to hear yourself talk? The armed forces has been doing that for generations. Oh, Islamic terrorism…. We created that… Iran… Shah… ring a bell… Of course not, none of you read….
16. Thanks for putting America first in international environmental agreements. Man, you guys are dense. An international agreement is a collaboration. There is nothing first to be put into. This is just an excuse to avoid joining anything, because you think in two dimensions…
17. Thanks for realigning the refugee admissions program. Two issues with this executive order. It is racist and it does not supply a process for realigning anything. Racist language = assimilate. We are a multicultural country. Citizens are acculturated into the fabric of the USA. Human rights violation #1
18. Thanks for restoring the death penalty for public safety. Nothing demonstrates ignorance and fascism like killing citizens for public safety. Two plus millennium of capital punishment has existed and research has demonstrated that this practice doesn’t deter crime… but wait… none of you read… you just like to destroy things….
19. Thanks for securing our borders. Yes a piece of paper with your signature is going to tighten border security like magic. You have a better shot of employing every immigrant and have them stand every ten feet guarding the border earning a living… I know how to pay for it too. Elon can efficiently afford it. Oh wait… is that a DEI program??
20. Thanks for protecting Tik Tok. Nothing like being a savior of something that in your first term you wanted blocked. Will you be taking credit for rolled ice cream, sliced bread, the light bulb, and suspending the constitution next?

This ends volume one. I will have more. Keep the faith, be the resistance. BTW, I think Canada and Mexico are great sovereign entities! On behalf of the American people. We are sorry this group of fruit loops treats you with disrespect. …so it goes…