This weekend my sister-in-law inspired me to write about some of my pet peeves of driving. There are so many things wrong with our society when it comes to driving and talking on a phone. Driving and eating or doing our hair and make-up… ok not me as I don’t have much hair and I save my make up for the vice president… ta-dum-crash… The complete lack of spatial awareness around oneself and their automobile, truck, or semi-truck also gets me going. Let’s get started…

I dissent with the endless number of people who use the cell phone while driving. It doesn’t matter if it is hands free or glued to your ear. If you are talking to someone, you are distracted. You are a danger to me and thousands of others. If you’re texting you are ten times the danger. If you’re reading something on a social media page… stop being stupid… Oh and when you are sitting at a stop sign, don’t use your phone then either. Please… pay attention… Nothing is more annoying than delay, delay, delay as we wait for oodles of people not paying attention to the lights. Everything can wait. Seriously, nothing is an emergency on your cell phone. I think there are more accidents from cell phones now than alcohol. I may just have to look that up… BTW Don’t drink and drive either… with your cell phone…

Why? Our brains are hardwired to do one thing at a time. When we fool ourselves into thinking we are multitasking, it is just the brain shifting focus from one task to the other in a quick fashion. Driving is already overwhelming to the human senses, why complicate it further with a phone. Our brains all work like this. If you don’t believe me, go check out John Medina’s book Brain Rules. https://brainrules.net He actually shares brain science in a readable way. Much like Bill Bryson made science less complicated in the Short History of Nearly Everything. Sorry, I like to read non-fiction. It is more interesting to me than fiction. Sorry… I like to think…

My second dissent is spatial awareness and eye/hand coordination. I feel this three dimensional world is too difficult for a lot of people. Why did you stop your Jeep one to two car lengths behind the BMW in the left turn lane? The BMW will not give your Jeep a virus. Do you realize you are keeping two more cars from fitting into the turn lane? Do you understand this prevents all the left turners from making the arrow? Do you realize there are three cars stopped in the left lane of traffic (the passing lane) from getting into the turn lane? You are creating a traffic hazard by not being aware of how much hood you have in front of you. Get closer please. Three feet max is my suggestion. Oh are you afraid of hitting the car in front of you when you are rear ended? You will hit them anyway. I guarantee your foot will lift off the brake… and you will hit them anyway. It is the chance we take while driving.

My third dissent: coming to a near complete stop while making a right turn. Why do you need to slow down to 2-3 mph to turn right? Are your tie rods bent? Tires bad? Or is it more spatial awareness issues. There is a dollar store near my workplace. It is at one of the busiest intersections in town. The number of near accidents by these “complete stop to make my turn” people is mind boggling. Are you wishing for an accident. It causes a ripple effect behind you. You can make that turn at 8-10 mph without difficulty. That extra 15 feet of speed can improve the flow of traffic enormously. It will help keep that guy out of the middle of the intersection when the light turns yellow…

My fourth dissent: Left lane parkers on the interstate. Read my first blog. I devote many words to this…

My fifth dissent: The lack of a turn signal. Come on man!!! How hard is it to move that little lever on your steering column to let us know you are switching lanes or turning. Be considerate to the people behind you. It gives us ample warning to slow down for your turn, and it lets us know what you plan to do. None of us have ESP. We are not higher life forms from a Star Trek show.

My sixth dissent: Not knowing your route to your destination. Better yet, not knowing an alternate route to your destination. The indecisions from this lack of knowledge causes all kinds of issues on the road. People behind them get stuck in an intersection. People that are stuck going 10-20 mph slower as they keep gaping for an address or sign. Learn how addresses work. Read maps please, know the main thoroughfares of a city. Figure out where N,S,E, and W are. Most cars have them on their mirror. When I drive in Chicago, I always know the lake is in the East. I drive towards the Lake and I am bound to hit LSD (US-41.) Oh look there is the Buckingham Fountain!!! I’m really close…

Am I being facetious? Sarcastic? Serious? All of the previous. These all drive me nuts. I’m always on the look out for a route that bypasses the heaviest traveled roads. Fewer cars means fewer problems. I know the amount of time for each route will be similar. I do prefer stop signs over lights. They are much quicker… If you need a shortcut in the Quad Cities, I can give you a few options. Unless the government bridge is open for a barge… then there isn’t a fast way to Rock Island from downtown Davenport…

Yes, I speed. I just got another ticket for being in a hurry for no particular reason. I accept that responsibility. Please forgive me.

Yes, I am assertive while driving. It comes from learning how to drive in the city of Chicago. The day I got my license I ended up driving to supply house Wabash a couple hours later with my dad as co-pilot. Driving in Chicago requires more assertive and less defensive driving skills. I feel for the truck drivers in Chi-town.

Yes, I lose my patience with the drivers using cell phones, doing their hair, creating grid lock without spatial awareness, and in general with all kinds of people not being considerate of everyone else around them. Yes, we are here. We want to get where we are going to… I don’t care how many ducks you have. I’m glad your child is an honor roll student. I’m a dog person, so please keep your cats to yourself… I’m allergic to them.

I don’t care about your bass, or your music, or your lighted rims, or whatever. I’ve never bought into the car is an extension of my ego thing. It’s just a box I use for transportation. I want to arrive safe.

Thank you for your kind attention. I will do my part… I promise… As Speed Buggy said, “Room a Zoom, Zoom.” …so it goes…