It’s a chilly Saturday here in the Midwest as we await the Polar Vortex #1 of 2025. Not much time to write this week as the social calendar was incredibly engaging. I decided to play around with this title. It has a double meaning. One of course is selfish. The other is to fish for oneself to find greater meaning. It came to me as I examined the social media pages and news headlines throughout the week. Basically this will come down as another sarcastic/pessimistic/philosophical view of American culture in as we close out the first quarter of the 21st century.

Selfishness is a disease I think most American’s have. It is a product of the conservative culture going back to Nixon administration. It starts out with not wanting to pay taxes for public services they do not use. These services include libraries and schools. Services that these taxpayers obviously didn’t use when they were in school for fear of learning how to think. Then it continues through the 90’s with wanting a government handout (subsidy, TIF, grant) for their business, farm, or whatever cause they serve man, but we don’t want to pay taxes to support our community. Everyone owes me, rather than I am responsible. Then comes the cultural change of the American dream. The dream used to be about family, living debt free, and enjoying one’s life. Now it is all about work, money, work, money, being rich, work, money, and spend, spend, spend, cause being a capitalist comes with the ultimate meaning… right? Then why is everyone so sad?

I see this type of selfishness on display everywhere. People are always looking for convenience. Drive through restaurants, coffee shops, drug stores, and liquor stores. It’s baffling to me that walking 300 feet is discouraged and burning a half gallon of gas in line is acceptable. Last week I went to my drug store to collect a couple of prescriptions. I park and walk into the store. I hate drive through lanes. I had to stand in line for a spell, but the customers ahead of me did not understand how drug coupons work, nor how long it takes to properly process a phoned or faxed prescription. I observed the young man from the drive through explaining to a car customer that they had to come into the store for the medications, because it was too large for the drive through tube to hold. Three minutes later this woman comes inside, complains she had to wait 45 minutes in her car for this prescription (more like 10,) and this gave her the right to butt into our line. Her selfishness was more important than the customers who came in to stand in line. She interuppted the two transactions that were holding the rest of us up. This selfishness cost six customers an additional two minutes because she couldn’t be bothered to wait in line. What would have been an eight minute wait, became a ten minute wait.

We went to a couple of restaurants this week and two of the them had waitlists. Since we were in a larger party, and one of our party got to the restaurant earlier to arrange for a bigger table ahead of time we were lucky enough to be seated shortly after arriving at the restaurant. I overheard a smaller table seated after us immediately tell their host and server that they needed to be served before us because they had waited 15 minutes longer than my wife and I. Yet our table of eight just got seated thanks to our host arriving 30 minutes ahead of schedule. The fact we were with a larger party and by luck of the draw arrived at the perfect time didn’t enter into that customers mind. It was all about them. No one else in that restaurant existed except for them at that moment. What kind of arrogance does one practice to even say that to an employee? Or behind the back of another customer? Our table ended up waiting longer to be served because of them. It was a sad evening from the restaurant experience but we had a nice time with our hosts.

I also feel technology plays a huge role in selfishness. The conditioning of getting things immediately with technology has spoiled people into thinking they deserve it now. It has even affected my family and I. We had an emergency with one of our dogs awhile back, and we took them into our 24 hr. emergency veterinarian in town. We ended up waiting about 20 minutes in an appointment room before someone came to see us. Turns out an emergency (pup not breathing) came in just after us. The vet tech apologized for our wait, but they explained a true emergency came in. My wife was a little miffed at the wait, but when we realized the vet also practices triage medicine our selfishness about the wait disappeared in a flash. As we prepared to leave our Sharpei with them a Pit Bull puppy came in completely unresponsive. We knew it was going to be really late or even the next day before we could get our pup treated for her laceration. We picked her up at 8 a.m. the following day. Patience is something we all really need to practice. Not one of us on this planet deserves to be treated as a second class citizen due to one’s own selfishness, entitlement, or arrogance. What you make financially does not grant special privileges. It’s high time American’s think about equity, equality, and fairness rather than greed, gluttony, and envy.

Wherever I go, I am amazed at the number of people searching for meaning in their lives through bizarre means of validation. The whole Tik Tok thing really baffles my mind. Snapchat streaks, Facebook likes, and other social media interactions confuse me. Why are these things so important that one obsesses over them? Why is this the meaning of their life? When I ask my children, all they tell me is that it’s cool. Yet, if the phone is taken from them and those streaks are going to end it becomes the end of the world as we know it. It seems we have three generations searching for self-validation in all the wrong places. Maybe that is why so many people flock to a church. If they feel validated there it becomes more meaningful somehow. A shot of adrenaline or serotonin maybe? I can see how spiritual experiences in a church can be like a drug. Meditation can lead to the same experience without the expected tithe.

This self fishing expedition catches nothing on social media. I started blogging simply to express things that bother me and weigh me down. A chance to ask the proverbial questions… not to seek an answer… but simply to process them in a forum that had meaning for me (writing.) Yes, it is nice to see that people read them, like them, and follow. Thank you to all that do that. I appreciate it, but that is not was drives me. I’ve enjoyed reading other bloggers through this forum. The process of writing and expressing my drivel gives me meaning and purpose. Just as my employment as a music teacher gives me meaning and purpose. Even mowing the golf course in the summer gives me purpose. The doing of anything healthy and creative gives one meaning. I enjoy my golf course job as I am not in a concrete room. The fresh air and sunshine that comes with this work makes it anything but work. The physical exertion of trimming a tree, running a string trimmer, or shoveling sand makes me feel alive.

Finding meaning in one’s life does not have to be philosophical, spiritual, transcendental, or just a means to acquire things. Finding meaning should be about experiencing, doing, serving, helping, loving, and just being. When I stopped worshipping the fishers of men or self fishing so to speak, my life improved greatly. I found that every moment in my life was a gift. Every breath was to be enjoyed. Every single experience is to be treasured. While I write this blog my two boys are listening to music on my record player. They started with Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and then it was Piano Ragtime music, followed by a St. Louis Ragtime band. Now they are moving onto my classic rock vinyl collection. They are experiencing music the same way I did when I was younger. They listen to the whole vinyl record. Those first three records were purchased today by a 17 year old senior. He is pleased with his purchase. He is loving the experience the music is taking him on, while he plays a game with his younger brother. I’m looking forward to playing the Frank Zappa recordings that I acquired later today. I’ve been listening to his interviews, documentaries, and debates as time permits. He is a fascinating artist and ideologue. Despite knowing about him most of my life, I’m just now digging into his work.

One can find this meaning or belonging in simple ways. When I go to a used book store or music store the stories we can share there with other people are priceless. This is belonging and connecting. Reading and sharing what you read with family or friends is serious bonding and connecting. My geocaching friends in my area are kind of like an extended family. We enjoy each other’s company through the game of interest. This is a connection we would have never made if it wasn’t for the game of geocaching. Lastly the connections of making music with others will always be there. Just last week, I ran into one of those connections after nearly six years apart. In one moment that connection picked up where it left off. It was a spiritual moment that I will treasure until the next one happens. Stop self fishing, and go make art with others. Make music with others. Join a book club. Write a blog, read other blogs, engage in chatter. One can always find meaning through the act of doing… something… anything… Stop looking for meaning or purpose in things that don’t matter. Twitter (X,) Facebook, Tik Tok, Snapchat, Instagram, and all that mindlessness is not where you find purpose.

In the words of Dave Matthews, “Turn off your t.v. Turn off your phone…” From the song Digging a Ditch. Stop being selfish or self fishing. Go out and connect through something. The world needs more humanism, not commercialism. Thanks for reading… my random thoughts on the week… on and on we go…